It's hard to define something so abstract and powerful like Love but it's even harder to be clueless about it. After all it is the driving force to many of our daily actions and the undisputed silver cord to our happiness.
The quest for Love and the discovery of oneself should go hand to hand, and in an ideal world they should start as early as possible however truth is that very few of us have the privilege to cultivate their own passions and desires and embark in the discovery of their own personality since a young age. Fulfillment of parent's expectations is the main focus of our childhood and often times it becomes the purpose of a lifetime. That's how we first experience Love.
In my own experience Love has been mostly painful. I have often found myself struggling in relationships that went from abusive to dominating and that would usually leave me hurt and angry.
It took me years, a lot of pain and a true desire to change before I learned what Love really is.
My walk towards this discovery has entailed the loss of my facade (which I was extremely attached to), the identification of my emotional addictions (which created attraction towards the wrong partners), the deconstructions of all expectations towards others (and myself) and finally the reconstruction of my true self.
Throughout the process, much with my regret anger has been my most faithful companion. It would show up in every difficult moment causing destruction and hate wherever it could.
While it is true that anger is just another feeling, there is a general tendency to accept a projection of it onto others as if that is the only way to get rid of it. Also, expressions of anger seem to be more socially acceptable compared to grief (for example, we think it's normal to see our parents angry but we freak out if they cry). In reality anger is the result of suppressed emotions and of our will to not deal with an underlying feeling of grief. As a matter of fact, we learn very early in our childhood to suppress our emotions sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of a need to survive in a hostile environment and other times as a result of wrong believes forced upon us by our parents (for ex. "boys don't cry", "you are a big girl now", "stop being upset, it's bugging me" and the list goes on and on). That's when we first start to detune from our true self, our concept of Love gets distorted and the first emotional additions are born (such as need for validation, poor self esteem, need to dominate or manipulate others, etc).
Tracing back to the source is a hard task to accomplish. It requires a lot of insight, tons of humility and a true, strong desire for change. Many of us live a life of hypocrisy and unhappiness without ever recognizing their facade while others keep hiding their unhappiness behind the door of social acceptance.
The problem is that our true self and our facade "cannot live in the same block" and finding the truth about Love towards oneself (or others) is often a long uncomfortable walk away from social acceptance and shared believes.
Looking back at my path I feel extremely grateful for all the obstacles that were sent in my life. I now understand they were only an opportunity to focus on what needed to be fixed within me and when I'm asked the question " What is Love?" I now know with crystal clarity what the answer is.
Love is freedom to be in error or truth without ever being judged for it;
Love is unconditional and compassionate acceptance of one's self;
Love is a lighthouse in a dark night. It shines for those who want to follow it;
Love is accepting everyone's will without repercussions;
Love is leading by example and without expectations;
And like the Beatles once said...Love..is all we need!
For more info on how to release anger:
How can i release suppressed anger of many years? How can i get past this huge block?" from Divine Truth FAQ.